Postpartum can be unpredictable, feel chaotic, and take you on an emotional roller coaster ride. But what if we told you that it can also be a slow, cozy, focused time to evaluate your evolution as a parent? With planning and a realistic perspective, this time can be a gift to you and your family. Whether you’re welcoming your first baby or your fifth, there’s a small window of time available to you that can turn into a positive and memorable experience. Here are three ways you can slow down and make this time work for you.
Say no without guilt
Postpartum gives you the perfect excuse to say no – to obligations, to surfing social media, to allowing negativity in your life. Do we need an excuse for this? Nope. But it definitely is easier to use the “I can’t, I have a newborn” line! For those of us that are people-pleasers, it can be hard to turn our focus inward. However, there’s just not time for worrying about everyone when you’ve got a new baby to take care of.
Prioritize how you expend your energy. You cannot give what you don’t have, so make sure your health (mental and physical) is primary. Your little bubble – the baby and other immediate family members – deserves your attention during this time. Brush up on your boundary-management skills to protect your limited resources.
Get cozy
There’s nothing like those first few weeks at home with a new baby. If you’re able to stick close to home, do so. Although this isn’t possible for everyone (that reality is the topic for a different article) even a few days holed up with baby is a gift. To really embrace this aspect of postpartum, make life easier before bringing your baby home. Prepare your space with a comfortable feeding spot, nutritious food, and multiple stations for essentials so what you need is always nearby. Identify a friend who can make those inevitable pharmacy runs. Consider limiting visitors early on so you don’t feel you have to clean up your home or entertain.
Sure, it’s great to have a stocked nursery, but it’s even better to have a pantry that is full of your favorite snacks, all the over-the-counter medications you may need, and soft blankets throughout your house!
Enjoy the perspective shift
For many of us, a new baby also brings a new energy to our family. Going through the experience of welcoming a baby will also affect us as individuals. This can be uncomfortable and often requires the support of [mental health] professionals. We’ve all heard the scary stories about losing our identities after a baby joins the family. People love to tell expecting parents how hard it is and how worried we’ll be all the time. But what is equally true – and not discussed enough – is that life is a series of re-evaluating identity and perspective. This is not an inherently negative thing.
In those early newborn days, life becomes a series of repetitive tasks and late night feedings. But slowly, given the time and space to actively grow into your new role, you may find a renewed sense of self. You might be motivated to finally make a change you’ve been putting off, or follow a passion you’ve had. We started our business because – not in spite of – our transition to motherhood. But this isn’t about achievement; it’s about slowing down and deciding to see your new identity as a positive change.
How to do this? Plan in advance
The ability to say no, feel cozy at home, and embrace your new perspective doesn’t happen by accident. Think through how you’ll do these things and write them down. We encourage all expecting parents to make a postpartum plan and have discussions with their support people in advance. Hire a postpartum doula and line up support for yourself now. An investment of thought and time on the front end gives you space to enjoy those early days with your precious baby.
About us: Candy Baracat-Donovan and Tiffany Miller of Like A Sister
We’re two real-life sisters, currently with four kids between us. In having our most recent babies together, we came to appreciate that we had something lots of people don’t – a sister! Everyone deserves that kind of support, but most people don’t have it built in. So, we started Like A Sister to provide expecting and new families support for everything from educating themselves to creating and executing a postpartum plan. Follow us on FB and IG at @likeasistersupport; you can find our postpartum planning tools on our website at likeasistersupport.com
